some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
