we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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