oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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