idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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