You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
