forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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