Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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