Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
