Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
