I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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