Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My dick has a subreddit
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
