life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
