No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
