That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
