"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
