Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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