We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
