the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Your penis caused this!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
