Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
love makes seman taste better
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
