? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
