Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
