Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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