Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize