sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
