Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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