Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
