Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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