Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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