wakey wakey hands off snakey
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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