Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize