my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
