found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
