The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
