you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
