i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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