smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
