I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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