its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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