I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
