If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize