This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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