I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
