hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
