So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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