im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
