Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
