Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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