In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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