they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
