I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize