But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
