he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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