I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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