You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
