I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
