Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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