Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I cannot find my penis.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
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I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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