Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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