curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
